Hang in there – sleep is on its way!
We all need sleep. Nothing is right or functions properly when we don’t get enough sleep. So naturally when a baby comes along, and screams the night away, our world can be turned upside down. The experience can be traumatic. To add to the sleep deprivation, as new mothers, our bodies have just gone through the greatest change hormonally and physically it ever has or ever will go through. So be kind to yourself! More often than not the rollercoaster we feel we are on is due more to sleep deprivation than a crying baby.
You’re not failing
Today there are so many pressures coming at us from every direction. Access to, and information from our digital world can make us feel as though all should be perfect at the click of a button. Maternal instincts and mothering styles are different for all of us. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Some babies cry more than others and some women find motherhood a breeze while others don’t. There is nothing wrong or bad about either situation. What’s important is to discover what is working for you, what isn’t working for you and take the positive steps towards feeling good.
Ask for help
Let’s call a spade a spade. A new born baby is hard work physically and you need support around you. If you are planning to be Super Woman, think again, and go with the flow. Admitting that you need help and asking for it doesn’t mean you are a bad mother or failing, in fact it is quite the opposite. Talk to your partner, call a family member, your friend or a nanny, and get some assistance. Even having someone take the baby out for a day will give you a chance to get some solid sleep to rejuvenate. Everything is better after a good sleep.
Don’t expect a manual – it doesn’t exist
While there are lots of great books and help out there, there’s nothing with a 100% success rate! Every child is different, every parent is different, every family is different. When you don’t know what to do next, think about creating a tactics list; techniques you can try systematically to help with whatever situation you are in. Don’t be disheartened if they don’t work, just keep working your way down that list. Here are 10 techniques that have worked for me.
Prepare
When we are expecting a new baby, a lot of thought and time goes into preparing the house, the bedroom and all the physical needs. I would recommend planning for a nanny too. You may not end up needing one but it is nice to have a ‘safety net’, just in case you need some professional assistance, even for a day. Having that comfort can ease the stress and pressure.
You’re not alone
When you get up in the middle of the night, and the whole world outside seems asleep, when you have a screaming baby in your arms, know that you are not the only person on the planet up doing this. Somewhere (either next door or on the other side of the world!), parents are up and about doing the same thing. Store that in the back of your mind. Keep in touch with other new mums and share your experiences.
Finally, hold your head up high. You are doing a great job!
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