How kids bounce back

There was an article in the Sunday Age yesterday (20 March) by Clare Kormondy entitled Don’t Worry, be happy: how kids bounce back.

It was a good read about resilience and how a study has found that the ability to bounce back differs markedly between 10 year olds and 15 year olds.

Andrew Fuller is a psychologist who was quoted in the story listed 5 key factors that build resilience. In his opinion these are:

–        a sense of being connected to adults

–        a sense of belonging

–        feeling empowered enough to make differences in your life and the lives of others

–        feeling that people have high expectations for you; and

–        feeling engaged at school

I want to briefly mention the 4th point and the word ‘for’. Change that small word to an even smaller word, ‘of’, and the clouds appear.

I had to read that line twice before feeling comfortable.

Having hopes for and being excited about someone’s future, for her or his sake, is a really positive thing.

Having expectations of someone, specifically a child, is not. Children need to be given freedom from pressure; pressure to perform at school, to conform to an image that might not suit them, to be something that they are not.

Interesting that the 5th point is feeling engaged at school. It is so important that teachers and parents work together in the best interests of the child or young adult. It’s a really important team effort that the child observes, learns from and lives by. We have to work hard and get these relationships right.

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